沒有了 ❯
工作時間： 9:00 - 21:00 地址：北京市·朝陽區·朝外SOHO-B座-818A室
咨詢微信：zhiyouv5 185 1953 9721
小智今天帶大家深入分析一篇極富創新性的申請文書，相信大家看過后絕對會驚嘆，OMG，原來文書還可以這么寫？！
開始前，小智先和大家討論一個問題，
對于文書，什么最重要？
能給招生官留下印象最重要！智友之前的學子曾問過自己的教授為什么錄取了自己，教授玩笑說，因為你在文書里提到了Beyonce，我也特別喜歡，讓我記住了你。試想繁忙的申請季，教授每天都是走馬觀花讀了100篇文書的狀態，有點類似于我們國家高考語文的閱卷，能給教授留下印象的文書卻寥寥無幾。
所以，一切的源頭始于讓教授記住你！在此基礎上，才輪到評審你是否真正優秀等。
當然，創新≠故弄玄虛，讓人記住你≠嘩眾取寵。那么，這篇文章到底好在哪兒，讓小智來給你說道說道吧：
1
On November 2nd, 2035, the Global Finance magazine made an exclusive interview with Ms. Zheng, president of the Agricultural Development Bank of China. For years, Ms. Zheng has been devoting herself to the innovation of Chinese rural financial institutions. Under her leadership, 500 million Chinese farmers have been lifted out of poverty over the past ten years, and the current situations in some rural areas of China have surpassed most of the Western developed countries. The following is the content of the interview:
（這段是文章的開頭，相信同學們已經大概猜到了，整篇文章最大的創新點在于把PS寫成了一篇采訪稿，而且采訪場景是申請者對十幾年之后的自己的一個設想，非常具有新意。當教授看了一百篇說明文+記敘文的PS之后，突然看到我們這一篇文書，一定會心曠神怡~
同時，這個場景的預設，也完美的回答了文書中的一個重要話題——Career goal！我們大膽的幫申請者假想為中國農業發展銀行行長，并且一直致力于中國農村金融機構的改革。再強調一下，Career goal是文書中非常非常重要的話題！）
2
Interviewer:
I am very happy to have a close contact with you, Ms. Zheng. I have interviewed a lot of successful people in financial field, so I want to ask Ms. Zheng, how do you define success?
Ms. Zheng:
It depends on what problems you have worked out. In China, agriculture is the primary industry. Although China has much more farmers than any other countries in the world, the commercial financial institutions have almost quit the rural market. Twenty years ago, my internship in Deloitte had a great influence on my career. During my internship, I did some research on credit issues in Chinese rural areas. I found that the credit amount was compressed a lot, and the repayment conditions were very harsh. Although there was a strong demand of the farmers for a more open agricultural financing environment to develop their production conditions, the banks restrained groups with lower credit worthiness in their eyes for profits. The farmers' production and development need funds, and this is the biggest problem for me. Solving the problem or not can judge my success.
Interviewer:
So, your definition of success is to help people?
Ms. Zheng:
My definition of success is that you can solve the problems in some areas. Of course, this will certainly benefit a particular group of people. To help people is the ultimate goal, but first of all you need to solve the problem.
Interviewer:
You let the funds flow to where they are most needed.
Ms. Zheng:
Perhaps this is the real intention of finance. It doesn’t need much innovation in nature, and the approach of innovation is to let the money go where it is needed.
上文內容的用意在于解釋為什么會有如此的Career goal，這個Career goal的社會價值在哪兒，也在借機闡述申請者自己對金融專業的理解。同時，在問答中還自然引出了申請者在德勤實習的背景經歷。不過篇幅上從采訪稿的角度看正常，但從申請文書的角度看略顯啰嗦。
（中間省去部分段落）
3
Interviewer:
So at present, what have you done to change the financial field of rural China?
Ms. Zheng:
We are extensively developing the agricultural insurance, and improving a sound system of agricultural insurance. We call on the government to set up agricultural risk fund, with the risk shared by the state, insurance companies, and farmers. Moreover, we’ve set up several policy-based insurance companies. The agricultural insurance is independent from traditional insurance. This is a very challenging move that involves many different organizations and groups.
文書不能有模板，但可以有套路。小智今天給大家講一個套路，PAR原則。所謂PAR就是Problem—Action,—Result（就是說你發現了什么問題、采取了什么行動、得到了什么結果）的結構。大家仔細體會一下這篇文書上邊的內容，圍繞Career goal，事實上是采取了倒推PAR，也就是從R-A-P的順序來開展的。例如，文章最開始就講到了結果Result，就是申請者成為了中國農業發展銀行行長。
（中間省去部分段落）
4
Interviewer:
I wish you success. Are there any secrets in your success?
Ms. Zheng:
It’s Passion! You should be passionate about what you do. And in the process, you need to find solution to every problem constantly. At the same time, you should have a good team... (此處陳述了自己在某個組織當中擔任leader，帶領團隊克服困難解決問題達到目標的事例)
Interviewer:
It seems that you have very good problem-solving experiences at school. People are all interested in the experiences when you were a student, can you tell us another story?
Ms. Zheng:
I can tell some of my experience in Deloitte... (此處介紹了德勤實習期間的一段具體項目經歷)
萬變不離其宗，要時刻謹記這是一篇留學申請文書，而不是真正的采訪稿。所以，文書當中一些承載重要價值的內容是一定要體現的，例如上文中對于文商科學生而言重要的領導力話題，和無論對于理工文商的學生都重要的解決問題的能力、團隊精神等等。
（中間省去部分段落）
5
Interviewer:
I’ve heard that you contributed 500 million dollars to the Carroll School of Management, Boston College last year, which was the biggest alumni donation in amount Boston College has received in the last 10 years.
Ms. Zheng:
Yes, the donation is to represent my gratitude to Carroll and Dr. Ronnie Sadka. And I believe this educational experience can not be equated with the help that Carroll School of Management offered to me and the improvement I got in my horizon and professional skills.
Interviewer:
I wish you more success in the future.
Ms. Zheng:
Thank you!
（完）
這里也是文章內容上的兩個最大亮點！
1，我們幫申請者大膽設想了未來作為BC校友，會給學校捐贈5億。大家可以多了解一下美國高校的校友捐贈文化，體會一下美國的高校會對自己的畢業生有什么樣的期待，要知道很多高校的一大部分經費來源是靠校友捐贈。當然，這個寫法只適用于這篇文章。
2，文書當中，相信很多同學都會談一談，Why school，向學校表表忠心，“拍拍馬屁”。我們在文章結尾處簡短而巧妙的向BC表了忠心。對了，Dr. Ronnie Sadka是BC商學院的院長。
沒錯！文書就是能這么寫！
這就是一篇智友的顧問為我們自己的學子精心構思和雕琢的文書。我們想說，文書沒有做不到，只有想不到。只有在智友，你才會遇到這么全身心投入的顧問，只有智友的顧問，才會如此嘔心瀝血幫助大家創作文書！
小智還想強調，這位學生的GPA是3.3，并不算非常高，但我們仍然竭盡所能幫學生沖刺到了名校！智友，就是這么認真。
還想看更多文書經驗和技巧？請大家轉發文章，對我們給予鼓勵吧！
（關注智友留學公眾號ID：zhiyouliuxue，下載10G英語學習和留學申請資料）
美國招生協會
AIRC權威認證
2000+ TOP50
成功申請案例
7000+學校
獨家數據庫信息支持
美國大學申請
常青藤團隊 助你圓夢美國大學
咨詢美國大學申請詳情
微信掃描左側二維碼
或點擊下方按鈕咨詢
發表在案例展示 發表日期 2020年07月28日 標簽：offer詳情頁offer
?2016-2022 京ICP備17045890號-1
